So I'm sitting here waiting to go into meetings with office staff... As I sit here getting more and more anxious, I am wondering to myself why I ever agreed to take on the Operations of Ascend Technologies. I really felt in my heart that God was calling me to this, but I am not sure if I am enough. I guess even as I type this, I know in my heart that He is enough. I just do not like the hard stuff...being responsible for people's livelihood, confrontation, changes that not many people like...it's just not fun.
So here I sit breathing faster by the minute, wishing this day was over and we were moving on. It's funny too, because I know God will show up and I know that He will make everything okay, but I am so uncomfortable with the boat while it is rocking that I forget the storm will pass and the sun will shine again. I have a hard time looking past the moment I am in sometimes and other times I look too far into the future and miss the moment. I guess I must have "it in" for me. Constantly making sure "me" is not enjoying one minute ;).
See I feel better already, just getting this out... Jesus, be very near to me this day. Give me wisdom, strength, and boldness beyond my ability and help me to keep my head and my tongue. Let me say only those things You would have said and help everything to be better than expected. I don't have the strength to do this, but You do. Please be very near...
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